Posts Tagged ‘life’

Thank you, Mars!

September 12, 2009

2nd of September, 2009

Mars’ gravity stops meteorites from hitting earth. Thank you, Mars!

Tell me why I don’t like Mondays? (well, 1st of September was a Tuesday…)

September 12, 2009

1st of September, 2009
Hmm, let’s see. Today I learned that I’m in 5B, which I’m sure you’re all excited to know. I started back at school today. 5th year, wahey. I learned, or more like I realised, that I’m fairly motivated to do well in school over the next two years. In all honesty, over the first 3 years of my secondary school life I only remember doing homework about 4 or 5 times. I shit you not. I never did a tap of work. The sad thing is that I was well capable of doing really well, too. Without studying at all, I got 5 b’s, 2 c’s and 2 d’s in my Junior Cert. I’m not proud of the d’s, or even the c’s, but I think that’s quite good for not having studied or done any homework on the subjects. The d’s were in Maths and History – my two least favourite subjects – so I was just really happy that I didn’t fail them. Like, pathetically delighted. And then last year I didn’t have to do anything because I was in Transition Year, and I didn’t do the tiny bit of work that I was meant to, either.
Anyway, the reason I think I’m so motivated now is that I’m sick of people thinking I’m thick because I never hand in homework or get brilliant grades, when I’m not. It was a thick move on my part, I know, but I mean if that was the best of my ability then I wouldn’t care but knowing it’s not makes me want to surprise people. I don’t know. I really feed off the approval of others, which isn’t a great thing to be able to say, but at least I’m aware of it.
Oh, you might be wondering what sparked this desire to write all this crap down. I chose to do Honours Maths and my Maths teacher, who never taught me before, was like “What did you get in your Junior Cert?” and when I told her I got a D she told me I wouldn’t be fit for honours, and that it would be too hard for me so I should do pass. Fuck off! Way so be supportive and encouraging, bitch. She’s some breed of wank so she is. She actually told me that it would probably go over my head. Dick.

Finally, on a different note, crocodiles can go for 2 years without eating. Or so I hear.

“I would like to suck your.. erm… yeah..”

September 11, 2009

3rd of August, 2009
Mum, if you’re reading this, I apologise for the next paragraph.

Today I learned how to say “I would like to suck your cock” in Irish. I didn’t go out of my way to learn it, nor was I in a situation where I needed to be able to say it in Irish. Nothing like that. It was in a great sketch I saw on TV tonight called Craic Whores. I’m not sure of the spelling, but it’s something along the lines of “Ba mhaith liom dĂșil ar do fud” which phonetically would be “Bah w-eye lum jool air thuh food (like flood without the L). Done.