Auditions, auditions, auditions…

September 11, 2009

21st of August, 2009
Today I went to my first proper acting audition. Well, my first proper audition for anything outside school. Oh Lord. Scariest thing of my life, or so it seemed.
I had a monolague prepared but when I got there I was told that the audition would be one on one improv with the Writer/Director. Shit. I left. I wanted to do it, and I did, but I wanted to put it off as long as I could, so I came back a few hours later with Tracey, after much persuasion, I’ll admit.
So I go in, and they ask me if I have anything prepared and I say no like an idiot because I’m so nervous that I doubt I would be able to remember it properly (what a great little actor I am, eh?). So, he gives me an improv scenario. Shit. Shit shit shit. The director is supposed to be my father and he disapproves of the boy I’m seeing. “Whenever you’re ready,” he says. Shit.
It wasn’t good. I’m not just saying that being modest, either. It really wasn’t. I even insulted my Faux Father’s profession by saying that my boyfriend didn’t need to go to school because he wanted to be a writer. What the fuck? Well done, Nadine, you little fucker, you. I am well aware that at least some education on the subject is required to be a good writer. A little intelligence. As soon as I had said it I was like “Aw, fuck, no…”. It was like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls with her word vomit. Come back, words!
Oh well, I should stop thinking about it because it makes me cringe (I HATE THAT WORD). Did I forget to mention that the director is my friend’s Dad? Yeah, awkward.
Anyway, I’m telling you all this to further prove the point I was trying to make yesterday, because when I left the audition I was thinking “That’s what I was so nervous about?” and, although it was scary being in there, now that I was out I wished I could go in again because I realised it was really nothing. Once it’s over, it’s over. And I wasted my chance of being cast because of being effing scared. I was scared to show them that I was capable of doing the job that I was applying for. Where’s the logic in that? I’m such an idiot. And, to be honest, the whole audition thing was actually very exciting. It was a rush. It was fun. Of course, I didn’t realise this until afterwards, but anyway. I won’t be so nervous next time. I say that now, but when the day comes I’ll probably be shitting bricks. Let’s hope not.
Also, I pretty much secured a part in a play that Tracey and her friend are putting on, which will be fun. I haven’t had a role in a play since 6th class, 4 years ago. Good luck to me. Aw crap, now I’m getting nervous. For fuck’s sake, what’s wrong with me?!

In other, more factual news I learned today that some hospitals are using a wristband barcode system to help avoid human error when giving medication to patients. You flash the barcode with this handheld device that kind of looks like a mobile phone, and it tells you how much the patient is supposed to get, if they’re allergic to anything in the medicine you’re about to give them, etc. Purdy cool.

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